Mateo’s Hoop Diary: A Weird Start to NBA Season

The NBA season is still in its infancy, and most things seen now should be taken with a grain of salt.  Like last year, some records, good and bad, only two weeks into action can be misleading.  This part of the season is purely for enjoyment.  Making accurate predictions based on the limited sample size is no easy task.  Beware of buying or selling off all your stocks on a team now.

 

At this moment, the defending champions (Bucks) have 6-6 record and are eighth in the east.  It’s difficult for any team to establish a rhythm when key cogs are missing.  Starting center Brook Lopez has missed nine straight games since the opener because of lingering back pain.  Jrue Holiday has missed six outings due to a left ankle injury before his return Friday in the loss at home to the Knicks.   Khris Middleton was absent six consecutive nights in health and safety protocols, too.    

 

Eventually, the champs will get Lopez and Middleton back and most likely return to competing at a championship level.  But for now, they’re without a shot-blocker who can lure opposing bigs to the perimeter and another guy capable of scoring in all three areas in the halfcourt.  It would be unwise to forget about this group amid the surge of the Miami Heat, Chicago Bulls, and the early surprises of the Washington Wizards and the Cleveland Cavaliers.  All of that may not last forever.  

 

The Atlanta Hawks are another squad whose record may not paint an accurate representation of the team.  Sitting on a 4-8 record, the Hawks’ have not had as much success as last season getting to the free-throw line.  They were fourth in attempts in 2021, but this year are 21st in the league in that category.  

 

Much of this has to do with Trae Young not adjusting yet to the new rule changes implemented by the NBA.  Young can no longer deceive the refs by hooking a defender’s arm with his off-hand or abruptly stopping when an opponent is on his trail, causing contact.  

 

Luckily for Young, he doesn’t need cheap tricks to get to the line.  His speed, long-range ability, and tight handle allow him to roam anywhere on the court offensively, and defenders usually bite when they sense he is loading up for a jumper.  

 

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To earn more contact, #11 might need to take a higher volume of his shots closer to the rim instead of looking for jump shot fouls.  Through 10 games, he is attempting 18.5% of attempts within 3-10 feet of the hoop.  It’s a slight increase from last season’s mark of 16.2%, but then he had more liberties away from the basket with his defender. 

 

The dip in free-throws attempts is impacting Atlanta’s defense as well.  Usually, after the final free throw, the team retreating has a good view of where the ball is coming from, which allows an opportunity for positioning.   The lower rate of charity stripe shots also prevents Atlanta from disturbing the other team’s offensive flow.  It’s not easy to keep the same synchronicity when the opponent keeps stopping the clock. 

 

Concerning the Philadelphia 76ers, it’s stunning they are currently first in the east while their disgruntled All-Star Ben Simmons refuses to play.  The squad’s absent playmaker is a defensive stalwart, yet to this point, the group has barely missed a beat on this side of the court without his versatility.  Philadelphia is the sixth-best of 30 teams in defensive field goal percentage, and they hold opponents to only 102.6 points per game, per NBA.com. 

 

There’s no reason to believe the organization’s quarrel with Simmons will end soon.  The fact this headache is still a distraction makes it more impressive the team has operated so efficiently without someone who eats up $33 million of the group’s annual salary cap. 

 

Another factor making this a head-scratcher is that Joel Embiid has at moments played through pain in his right knee, per ESPN.  Since Ramona Shelburne’s report, the 76ers have been more conservative with their big-man’s health.   

 

Conventional wisdom screams the 76ers stellar start to the season is unsustainable, but as of now, in regards to Philadelphia, all I’m left with is an 8-4 record. Strange things happen early in a season.

 

 As Jim Morrison of The Doors once sang, “Take it as it comes.”

Kyle Lowry and the Heat are One and the Same

 

Fitting into a new situation can take time and patience for anyone. Whether it’s been arriving at a new school or a new job, we’ve all experienced the awkward orientation period. Trying to find where you belong while not stepping on the toes of those who are already there. For Kyle Lowry and the Miami Heat, that adjustment period seemingly took less than one day. It’s felt like Lowry has been in Miami for an entire decade when he’s only logged 6 games with the franchise.

It may be a surprise to some people just how quickly the two parties have clicked. In reality, it shouldn’t come as much of a shock when you delve into the details of this marriage.

Kyle Lowry has always been a player you can plug into whichever system you throw him in. He’s like the one size fits all sweatpants you can rock any day of the week. He can work both on-ball and off-the-ball at an elite level while making sure the team doesn’t skip a beat. Even if he doesn’t have the crazy assist numbers like Chris Paul, he’s still on that same level of a floor general.

It’s not just that Kyle lends himself to the rest of the team, but that they play off of him just as well. For Jimmy Butler it allows him to be more of a scoring threat.  He’s freed him of the burden of being the team’s only downhill creator. The same goes for Bam Adebayo, whose assist numbers have gone down as his scoring and rebounding go up. Lowry is helping Adebayo in ways Chris Paul did for so many big men, including DeAndre Ayton last season. Growing his confidence while getting him easy looks, whether that be in pick and rolls or early transition.

Tyler Herro has already raved about how much Lowry has helped his game on and off the court. Gushing about the way he gets everyone into the right spots to succeed. The Lowry-Herro 2-man lineups have a 118.2 ORTG 92.6 DRTG for a +25.6 Net. That’s some Small Sample Size Theater, but the chemistry is there. It’s reminiscent of the way he worked with Fred Van Vleet and his early days with Goran Dragic in Houston.

On the defense, you see how seamless he’s filled that point of attack hole that’s plagued the team the past few years. The way he talks and communicates (along with PJ Tucker) while taking charges has fit like a glove. This is much to the delight of Erik Spoelstra, who has always coached good defenses and preached those principles his entire tenure.

These are the reasons why Miami tried so hard to trade for Kyle Lowry last season and was their top priority this past summer. The Heat knew he would help their chances and also help improve their young players for the future. Miami knew what Kyle Lowry was all about. He’s the kind of player that has always caught the eye of the Miami Heat front office. A player that plays every possession like it’s his last and doesn’t back down from anything. Someone willing to take a charge in a damn All-Star Game is always going to catch Pat Riley’s attention.

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Kyle Lowry said after Miami’s recent win against Dallas that “Spo has kinda let me go out there and kinda just do things, and they’ve adjusted to me. They’ve been very adaptable to us.” The team has handed the keys to their new PG to take the car wherever at the speed he wants. Coach Spoelstra and the staff have utilized his tendency to put the pace and get out in transition. They know what Lowry is good at and want to utilize every aspect of his game. The Heat trust Kyle the same way they trusted Jimmy Butler when he first arrived. You don’t get that kind of faith from the organization that easily. You have to be a special kind of player and that’s what Lowry and Butler are.

They’re both cut from the same cloth and it’s no surprise the two are such close friends. Butler is even the Godfather to Lowry’s daughter. They’re no strangers to each other and both know about thriving in stable organizations that know what they’re doing. They know what it means to have an organization that holds everyone accountable and asks for the best out of each of their guys on a nightly basis. Lowry helped lay the foundation in Toronto for what is now an exemplary organization that teams look to emulate.

There are plenty of jokes on Twitter, but Kyle Lowry didn’t need the Miami Heat to “set him in the right direction.” He’s been one of the best players at his position the past decade-plus. What he’s doing in Miami is rocking with a team that’s on the same wavelength as him. They both want to win a title and share similar mindsets about what it will take to get there. Both parties see eye-to-eye on so many levels.

Kyle Lowry knows what Miami is all about and vice versa. They are going to do whatever it takes to get to their ultimate goal. No one outside the team expected this type of start. Most fans will tell you that it might take a month or so to hit their stride. What everyone didn’t count on was that Kyle has always been a “Miami Heat” player, in a sense, just without the jersey.

The Heat has allowed Lowry to be who he’s always been. They won’t dare change what made him who he is today. They’ve rolled the ball out on the floor and theoretically told him to “be Kyle to the highest degree.”

The thing about trying to fit in is that if you’re trying too hard, you’re never succeeding. The awkward part where you’re not sure of where you should be can throw you off so easily. The Heat made sure that Lowry never had to try and that the team will follow not only Jimmy’s lead but his as well. It’s easy to fit in when the moment you arrive you’re greeted with people like you.

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Mateo’s Hoop Diary: Protect Embiid at All Costs

The cavalier attitude the 76ers are showing towards Joel Embiid’s health is a sign of their cracked morales.  Concerns about his long-term durability have evaporated while Ben Simmons is absent with “personal” reasons, and the team attempts its best effort at a respectable record.

 

Desperation must be high for Philadelphia, or else no one would dare risk the health of a player whose body betrays him at least once a year. In fairness, Philly drew a terrible hand with the schedule because they have to play 10 postseason teams in their first month’s 17 games.  Sitting on a 4-2 record, the 76ers have gambled on five of those nights with Embiid’s knee.

 

Following a win in the season opener at New Orleans, Embiid could not walk for two days, per Ramona Shelburne of ESPN.  Enough said.  He shouldn’t be cleared for competition until the pain in his knee is gone.  Willingly sending him out to play is greasy and likely hazardous to the injured area.  Keep in mind that Embiid suffered a lateral tear in his right meniscus during the 2021 playoffs, which he unwisely played through and opted out of surgery in the offseason. 

 

It’s early in the 76ers campaign, but Phillies star big-man’s numbers are down across the board, and I don’t think the Monstars have anything to do with it.  More probable, it’s connected to the mindless decision to suit him up and the team’s lack of a QB present. Embiid reportedly feels the need to compete because Simmons is M.I.A., and he thinks this is what leadership is.  

 

Embiid is a victim of Philly’s gross incompetence at protecting its players and their inability to build a winner.  The 76ers once sat #21 for two seasons while he recovered from recurring foot injuries before making his pro debut.  For multiple years, Embiid didn’t play back-to-backs either. Yet now, they’ve suckered their All-Star center into competing when it’s not in the best interest of his future, despite how handsomely he is paid.  

 

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It wouldn’t have been necessary to manipulate Embiid if Philadelphia had pulled the trigger in a trade, giving up Simmons to Indiana for Malcolm Brogdon and their first-round pick, per Jason Dumas of KRON4 News.  Brogdon is one of 13 players in history to earn a spot on the 50-40-90 Club, and he is a solid scorer, averaging over 23 points a game.  That FRP could have come in handy down the road for the 76ers if the Pacers continue losing as they are currently 1-6 and last in the conference. 

 

On Oct. 8, Marc Stein of The Stein Line reported Philadelphia wasn’t interested in a package including Malcolm Brogdon and Caris LeVert.  Considering the mess the Simmons situation has morphed into, it’s hard to believe the 76ers will be offered a deal as sweet. If this proposed negotiation were executed, Philadelphia’s defense would probably suffer, losing Simmons’ versatility.  But they would have gained two outside scoring threats, and the days of playing 4-on-5 would have been over, and maybe #21 would feel comfortable catching a break.

 

The 76ers doctors should take the Hippocratic Oath seriously to prevent any harm from coming to Embiid’s knee.  The right thing to do is sit him until he’s 100%.  Even if it angers him, the team has a responsibility to protect Embiid from himself.

Mateo’s Hoop Diary: James Harden’s Mark of Greatness

The world’s smallest violin plays a tune for the cries of James Harden.  The Beard had a long, fruitful run manipulating the rules on offense, and now with regulation changes implemented for the 2021/2022 season, #13 hasn’t been a regular at the free-throw line. 

 

The Nets are only 2-3, but Harden is only taking three free throw attempts per game in this small sample size.  It’s a sharp decline from his career average of 8.7 per night, or more alarmingly, his mean of over 10 charity shots a game the last nine years.

 

Returning from his sabbatical, a rotund Harden, still a Rocket, got to the line 16 times against the Trailblazers Blazers in the first game of the 2020/2021 season.  Traded to Brooklyn weeks later, in his Nets debut, Harden took 15 free throws. 

 

The NBA’s rule changes are slowing Harden down more than the extra body armor he carries on the court.  The Bearded One’s signature con would deceive officials when he would drive into a defender and hook them with his off-arm and pull up, creating contact.  The refs not biting on this slippery trick caused Harden to voice his displeasure to the press when asked about it on Monday after the loss to Charlotte. 

 

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“I just ask every official.  If they see a foul, call a foul,” said Harden.  “Sometimes I feel like, a couple minutes in a game, it’s already predetermined (the noncall).  I already have that stigma of getting foul calls.”

 

Before Harden arrived for his post-game press conference, coach Steve Nash tried to paint his star guard as a victim of unfair officiating. Which is rich because Nash whined to reporters last season about Trae Young using unorthodox maneuvers to create contact (abruptly getting in the way of a defender).

 

The reality of the rule changes is that this was the NBA’s adjustment to a dominant player. Historically, some of the very best the hardwood has seen have influenced change in the game.

 

In 1956, while Wilt Chamberlain was at Kansas, Tex Winter saw him dunk one of his free throws in a scrimmage.  Winter, the chairman of the Coaches Rules Recommendations Committee at the time, immediately complained about it at an NCAA convention in 1956 because “something’s got to be done.”  Winters revealed this in an interview with coach Nick Hauselman of BBALLBREAKDOWN in 2011.

 

While Kareem Abdul-Jabbar was in college, dunking was outlawed (1967) to try to limit his effectiveness.   Those fools at the NCAA are the reason the patented skyhook was so polished and devastating, and their ploy did not work.  UCLA won the next two titles, completing a three-peat. 

 

As recently as 20 years ago, when Shaquill O’Neal was perhaps the most dominant presence on earth, he forced the NBA to evolve and legal zone defense was born.  

 

For now, the Beard’s game has suffered as his scoring, facilitating and rebounding stats are down from last season.  What Harden has done in his career has pressured the NBA to weaken the advantage of the offensive player.   In the future, he shouldn’t complain.  This is what respect looks like.

Mateo’s Hoop Diary: Sarver, The Ungrateful (Phoenix) Sun

The ungrateful always forget what misery feels like as soon as they have the upper hand.  These foul characters complicate the job of others and make them uncomfortable because they can’t get out of their own way. Cheap fools are usually destined to repeat their blunders and in short order, are back at the bottom where they belong. 

 

I wish I could say it’s inconceivable that Deandre Ayton hasn’t received his max extension, but the Suns are owned by this slipperiest eel of the negotiating table, Robert Sarver. He once infamously played hardball with Joe Johnson in 2005, electing to finish the year before financially compensating an up-and-coming All-Star.  Iso Joe left that summer in a sign-and-trade to the Atlanta Hawks and had his best seasons away from Phoenix.    

 

He even ruffled the feathers of one of the classiest players in the league, Goran Dragic, by signing Isaiah Thomas and then extending his inferior backcourt mate, Eric Bledsoe, months after the Slovenian guard’s All-NBA season. The Dragon was clever and likely knew that in his contract year, with his role and production gashed, playing under those circumstances would cost him serious money in free agency.  Dragic then went rogue and spilled his frustrations to the media, expediting his exit in 2015.

 

The Suns missed the playoffs every season from 2011 until 2020 and started multiple rebuilds.  In their first attempt at miserably constructing a winner, they were fortunate 12 teams passed on Devin Booker.  In fairness, Booker wasn’t expected to be first or probably top five because he wasn’t a starter at Kentucky.  Yet, it’s more of an indictment on the “scouting” of all the other clubs if the best marksman of the draft (2015) slipped that low.  Again, in hindsight, the Suns were fortunate he was available. 

 

A couple of years later, Sarver hired James Jones as Vice President of Basketball Ops while extending Ryan McDonough, then general manager.  In 2018, Phoenix won the draft lottery, subsequently picking Ayton, the most coveted player in college basketball.

 

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Ayton performed well in his rookie campaign, averaging a double-double on one of the worst teams in the NBA.  That year he was overshadowed by the mesmerizing season Luka Doncic had for the Dallas Mavericks, as he ran away with the Rookie of the Year award.  Despite the arrival of Dallas’ generational talent, Ayton impressively displayed high proficiency in his craft.  It usually takes longer for big men to develop, but he’s been a player long before he laced them up professionally.  

 

Ayton’s size cannot be taught.  Meanwhile, Sarver and the Suns are treating one of their franchise cornerstones like 7-footers grow on trees.  Every other team in need of an upgrade at center would melt at the possibility of acquiring a matchup nightmare like #22.

 

The Phoenix Suns are playing a dangerous game letting their unhappy big-man arrive at restricted free agency in summer 2022.  The organization can hide all it wants under the premise that it was a business decision, but they risk Ayton interpreting his lack of a deal as a personal matter.  The Suns extended Chris Paul, Mikal Bridges and Landry Shamet, who was just traded to Phoenix this offseason, before paying Ayton.  Ayton’s role is arguably the most pivotal behind Booker’s.

 

In 2021, Phoenix won the West and came two wins shy of an NBA title.  To ensure the Suns stay in the mix for years to come, they will need to pay Ayton every dollar he is looking for past this season.

 

But this is Sarver, a man who in so many ways, cannot be trusted.  He is the type of guy who, as local hero Greta Rogers said at the Phoenix City Council in 2018, “He’s so tight, he squeaks when he walks.”

 

Roger’s called out Sarver because he had the nerve to request $150 million worth of tax-payer renovations for the Footprint Center while the team had an abysmal record the year before.

 

Some people’s ignorance cannot be helped.  No matter how many times they stumble at the same obstacle, fools are destined to repeat the past.

Heat in Five: Your Miami Heat Season Preview Palooza!

 

JESUS FUCK MOUSE IT’S HEAT SEASON!

And I have one question for you: Can you feel the Heat?

We should all just spend the whole day going around asking people, “Can you feel the Heat? ” And then when they’re like, “Huh? Wha?” We say it louder. “CAN YOU FEEL THE HEAT???” And whenever anyone says, “ah, no, I, what,” or hesitates to say anything other than “Hell yea, I can!” we drop-kick them in the throat and run away shouting “FOR THE CULTURE.”

So what’s the 2021-22 Miami Heat gonna look like? Let’s preview it, suckas!

But, before we get going: Follow and then hit PLAY on this playlist and CRANK IT THE FUCK UP and then RUN THROUGH A FUCKING WALL HEAD FIRST.

And ok, now read on.

Ok, how excited should we be about this 2021-22 Miami Heat?

Real excited. Did you not listen to the playlist? Are you dead inside?? Are you a lifeless husk of flesh with no feelings or emotions or GUTS?

Yes, but how exactly are they going to make us feel excited? You know, basketball-wise.

Oh you want to get technical on the how. Ok. This Heat team is going to rip everyone’s throat out of their assholes and properly fuck everyone’s shit up on defense, that’s how.

So the Heat are just going to be one of those grind out defensive teams that score 70 points a night?

Not necessarily. Because, yes, they’re going to be making stops, and grabbing defensive rebounds. But then they’re gonna turn on the afterburners and ride into the Danger Zone with their skull-smashing transition ass-wrecking offense led by Jimmy, Kyle, Bam, and The Fireball Whites. The Heat are going to win games when they play defense and then turn their opponent’s missed shots into fast break points. And, with the additions of gamma ray-infused badass motherfuckers not to be trifled with, PJ Tucker and Markieff Morris, that is going to happen a lot.

What about Jimmy? Is Jimmy gonna be Jimmy Buckets This Year?

Are you high? Fuck and yes is the answer to that question.

Ok, but he looked gassed at times last season.

And you look like a bucket of shit!

What?

Look, there was this weird narrative last year that Jimmy had fallen off a bit. That’s a bunch of bullshit.

Maybe it was because he was tired from his hard play in the bubble?

Or maybe it was because he was tired from getting off your mom.

Please stop.

Look, whatever the reason for Jimmy hitting the wall last season, this whole Jimmy is fading thing is all horse cockery.

Horse what?

HORSE COCKERY. Because here’s the good news for your Miami Heat: Jimmy remains Jimmy. And thus, this remains very bad news for the rest of the NBA.

With a dong harder than volcanic rock and a willingness to attack the rim with the ferociousness of a charging frothing pitbull, Jimmy Butler remains one of the most effective players getting to the rim and drawing fouls from shit-for-brain mongoloids dumb enough to get in his way. And when he’s not drawing those fouls, he’s drawing defenders in and then kicking out to Fireball White #1 or Fireball White #2, who proceed to then go all Human Torch from the three-point line.

Moreover, Jimmy led the league last year in steals per game, and stat geeks will tell you he ranked sixth in the league in Value Over Replacement Player, fourth in Box Plus/Minus and third in Win Shares per 48 Minutes, which is basically nerd-talk for: When He Needs To, Jimmy Butler Reaches Deep Into His Big Bag of ASS WRECKAGE and Comes Through When We Need Him Most.

But didn’t Jimmy falter in the playoffs?

Sure. But that’s only because the NBA decided to royally fuck the Heat by making them play roughly 8,453 games between the previous year’s playoff run and last year’s regular season, which they crammed together with little rest time because Adam Silver is an asexual being from outer space who doesn’t understand that humans get tired and need rest to regarge. And so Jimmy was naturally, as the medical books call it, tired as fuck.

The truth is, according to NBA statsguy John Schuhmann, the Heat were 11.1 points per 100 possessions better with Jimmy Buckets on the floor (+5.2) than they were with him off the floor (-5.9). And that was with a gassed Jimmy.

No matter how you slice it, we WANT Jimmy on that wall, we NEED Jimmy on that wall.

So, don’t fret. Because Jimmy is now fully rested up, refreshed, and has a clean ass.

And that can only mean that he’s now ready to resume being the hardcore crotch-kicking-half man-half-machine we all know and love.

Why else should we be excited for this 2021-22 Miami Heat?

Because the Heat finally landed THICC BASKETBALL JESUS!!!

After playing grab ass with rumors and speculation and flirting with the possibility of coming on down to Miami, Kyle Lowry and the Miami Heat were finally able to take shit from swiping right, to fucking in the shower (proverbilly speaking) and have now joined forces to form an ass-wrecking Voltron that’s ready to crush our enemies into a fine powder and to see them driven before us and to hear the lamentations of their women.

Also, Kyle Lowry loves the ever loving shit out of playing defense. And now he’s hitting the floor with dudes who love the ever loving shit out of playing defense just as much as he does. It was just meant to be. He’s the missing piece!

How will he make us better?

It’s no secret the Heat’s offense was asstacular at times last season. But, as it always goes with star veterans who are desperate to get the fuck out of Dodge from their shitcavern teams, Kyle Lowry sent out the PATSIGNAL…. and Pat answered. And now we have a guy that’s going to alter the fortunes of a once limp-dick offense.

Kyle changes everything. He’s efficient, aggressive and smart. Instead of being one of those point guards that heaves the basketball up toward the rim like it was dipped in COVID, Kyle has a knack for knowing when to attack the basket, and when to take the smart shots. He also has a delicious, delicious ass. He knows how to keep his and his teammates’ heads in the game, and he is totally ready to kick those who wrote him off last year so hard in the face that their brains are going to explode out the backs of their heads.

Is this Tyler Herro next-step thing real? Is all that talk about trading him away last year going to mess with his game?

Ha ha ha idiots. Tyler Herro is here to impregnate all of you on this ticky-tock with his goofy hair and his awesome basketball prowess. He’s going to be all the way back, AND YOU’RE ALL GONNA FUCKING EAT IT AND YOU’RE GOING TO LIKE IT.

But so many Heat fans wanted him gone. That’s gotta screw with someone’s confidence, no?

Here’s the thing about Tyler Herro and those who wanted him gone last year: He’s apparently been leaving his fucks as tips for housekeeping at the team hotel, so don’t bother asking him for any fucks because he’s ALL OUT.

What we’ve seen in this preseason is a Tyler Herro that’s been told not to worry about the chatter and just ball the fuck out. And so, he’s come out swinging, and is fully prepared to kick the narrative that he’s nothing but a so-called Bubble Guppy into the stratosphere. And he’s going to write his name on the ashes with his piss after the narrative comes crashing down in a flaming ball somewhere in a New Mexico desert.

What about Bam? Is he finally ready to get more aggressive on offense?

Bam can and will be a monster from the word GO. He’s said as much already. He’s already a guy who mercilessly smashes the Heat’s opponents in their collective faces with a piano over and over again until their players have piano keys for teeth. Now all he has to do is bring that intensity into his offensive game. And once he does, it’s gonna be DEFCON 1 for the rest of the NBA.

We forget that Bam has only played as a starter for only two seasons, and is still a young pup at 24. He’s shown us time and again that he knows how to initiate the offense out of the high post and is developing into quite the midrange shooter off the dribble. In other words, shit is about to get ACTUAL in this motherlove.

Will Erik Spoelstra finally get the respect he deserves league wide?

Who gives a flying squirrel dick? We know that Spo is amazing and we don’t need others to validate that.

Yes, but… isn’t it time he gets serious consideration for Coach of the Year?

Well, ok, yes. And here’s our prediction: Spo will win Coach of the Year this season.

Ever since the Celtics hired Brad Stevens back in 2013 and all throughout the time since, we’ve had to deal with the ceaseless yammering of a million whining gravy-stains-on-their short sleeve shirts analytic nerds about how Brad Stevens is supposedly the best and brightest coach in the NBA because he likes math and defense or some such bull dick nonsense. And that Spo, for all his winning, was only successful because he had the luxury of having LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh suit up for him. Because Brad Stevens only coached sock puppets and not an actual NBA team filled with All Stars and big-play guys, apparently.

And yet, after Spo settled the argument of who is the better coach during the 2020 playoffs by reaching into Brad’s high-waisted mom jeans and tearing out his proverbial heart through his proverbial asshole with his beautiful basketball mind, in six games, Brad was sent packing upstairs, and the argument is officially over and John Hollinger can shove his face into a woodchipper.

So enough already with crowning a guy as the best when he never won jack dick in the NBA and let’s start recognizing Erik Spoelstra as the best coach in the league already, you numbnuts.

Shove all that unearned love of Brad Stevens into an Elon Musk billion dollar fart rocket and shoot it directly into the sun.

So, what then, can we surmise from all this?

It’s simple, really. When this Miami Heat team is fully engaged and all in BLOW UP PEOPLE’S ASSHOLES mode at the same time, people’s assholes will get blowed up. Period.

And when things get precarious and the games feel like they could swing either way, this veteran-laden team with their collective bulldog groupthink will show the NBA watching world that it’s ready to FORNICATE with its We’re-Not-Giving-A-Single-Solitary-Fuck-If-The-Other-Team-Has-Big-Time-Scorers-We’re-Not-Folding-Tonight mentality.

Prediction?

Record: 50-32; 1st in the Southeast Division, 2nd in the Eastern Conference; NBA CHAMPIONS

You can see other 5 Reasons contributors’ predictions here. Spoiler alert, only Greg, Royal and Tony have the guts to agree with our prediction of the Miami Heat ending the season atop the mountain. The rest of you cowards are DEAD to me.

Let’s go Heat.

 

Chris Joseph is a sometimes contributor to 5 Reasons Sports, an occasional podcaster, an exquisite copywriter, a stand up comedian, a novelist, a soccer enthusiast, a movie buff, and all an all around cool guy so if you ever run into him on the street, please don’t hesitate to not say hello. You can follow him on Twitter here. He loves you all very much.

Five Reasons

The Five Reasons Sports NBA Preview: 14 Contributors Give Their Predictions

After the shortest offseason in NBA history followed by what seemed like the longest offseason in NBA history, NBA basketball is back this week!  Heat fans have enjoyed an exciting preseason, but now things are for real.  In the last weekend without basketball for eight months, Five Reasons Sports gathered thirteen “experts” (stop laughing) to make their season predictions.  If you want to join in yourself, we also started a fan poll so that you can make your predictions and we’ll save the receipts.  

 

Our 14 experts:  @RoyalAShepherd, @MateoMayorga23, @BryanIsTheKing, @ToineSpeaks, @Michael5RSN, @Kendale_11, @MarcoRomo_, @RickyJMarc, @TonySchwartzNBA, @BradyHawk305, @AdamNBorai, @GregSylvander, @GadielCartagena, and @SRochesterNBA.  

 

Eastern Conference Predictions:

Our experts were nearly unanimous on the Bucks taking the East’s top spot, with Marco going “lone wolf” on the Nets.  The panel was pretty clear on the Nets and Heat taking the 2nd and 3rd seeds, but the middle seeds were extremely mixed.  The Hawks took the 4th seed, and the Celtics just edged out the Sixers for the 5th seed.  After the top six, the panel seems to have a significant drop to a lower tier of teams with six different possibilities fighting for the play-in spots at 7th-10th.

 

Average Expert Rankings:

  1. Milwaukee Bucks (1.08)
  2. Brooklyn Nets (2.41)
  3. Miami Heat (3.50)
  4. Atlanta Hawks (5.00)
  5. Boston Celtics (5.58)
  6. Philadelphia 76ers (5.67)
  7. Chicago Bulls (7.3)
  8. New York Knicks (8.91)

Play-In Candidates (ranked in order of votes):  Indiana Pacers, Toronto Raptors, Charlotte Hornets, and Washington Wizards

 

Eastern Conference Finals:

Royal: Bucks vs. Heat

Mateo: Bucks vs. Heat

Bryan:  Bucks vs. Nets

Toine:  Bucks vs. Heat

Michael:  Bucks vs. Heat

Kendale:  Bucks vs. Nets

Ricky:  Bucks vs. Nets

Tony:  Bucks vs. Heat

Sean:  Bucks vs. Nets

Brady:  Bucks vs. Heat

Adam:  Bucks vs. Nets

Gad:  Nets vs. Heat

Greg:  Bucks vs. Heat

 

Western Conference Predictions:

Unlike the Eastern Conference, our experts were torn on the best team in the west with each of our top four teams receiving 1st place votes.  The consensus seems to believe there is a clearly defined tier of four teams, followed by the Warriors, and then another tier of eight teams competing for the 6th-10th seeds.  

 

Average Expert Rankings:

  1. Los Angeles Lakers (2.25)
  2. Utah Jazz (2.58)
  3. Denver Nuggets (3.58)
  4. Phoenix Suns (3.91)
  5. Golden State Warriors (5.16)
  6. Dallas Mavericks (7.50)
  7. Portland Trailblazers (8.16)
  8. Los Angeles Clippers (8.25)

Play-In Candidates (ranked in order of votes):  Memphis Grizzlies, San Antonio Spurs, New Orleans Pelicans, Oklahoma City Thunder, and Minnesota Timberwolves

 

Western Conference Finals:

Royal:  Lakers vs. Warriors

Mateo:  Lakers vs. Nuggets

Bryan:  Lakers vs. Warriors

Toine:  Lakers vs. Nuggets

Michael:  Lakers vs. Warriors

Kendale:  Lakers vs. Warriors

Marco:  Suns vs. Nuggets

Ricky:  Lakers vs. Nuggets

Tony:  Nuggets vs. Jazz

Sean:  Lakers vs. Suns

Brady:  Lakers vs. Suns

Adam:  Lakers vs. Nuggets

Gad:  Lakers vs. Suns

Greg: Lakers vs. Jazz

 

NBA Finals Predictions:

Royal:  Lakers vs. Heat

Mateo:  Lakers vs. Bucks

Bryan:  Lakers vs. Nets

Toine:  Lakers vs. Bucks

Michael:  Warriors vs. Heat

Kendale:  Lakers vs. Bucks

Marco:  Nuggets vs. Nets

Ricky:  Lakers vs. Bucks

Tony:  Nuggets vs. Heat

Sean:  Lakers vs. Nets

Brady:  Suns vs. Heat

Adam:  Lakers vs. Nets

Gad:  Lakers vs. Nets

Greg:  Lakers vs. Heat

 

NBA Champion:

Royal:  Heat

Mateo:  Lakers

Bryan:  Nets

Toine:  Lakers

Michael:  Warriors

Kendale:  Lakers

Marco:  Nets

Ricky:  Lakers

Tony:  Heat

Sean:  Nets

Brady:  Suns

Adam:  Lakers

Gad:  Nets

Greg:  Heat

 

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Who Will Win 2021-2022 NBA MVP?

Royal:  Durant

Mateo:  Giannis

Bryan:  Giannis

Toine:  Harden

Kendale:  Jokic

Marco:  Jokic

Ricky:  Embiid

Tony:  Jokic

Sean:  Durant

Brady:  Giannis

Adam:  Luka

Gad:  Giannis

Greg:  Steph

 

Who Will Win 2021-2022 NBA Rookie of the Year?

Royal:  Jalen Green

Mateo:  Green

Bryan:  Green

Toine:  Green

Michael:  Jalen Suggs

Kendale:  Green

Marco:  Cade Cunningham

Ricky:  Cunningham

Tony:  Scottie Barnes

Sean:  Green

Brady:  Barnes

Adam:  Green

Gad:  Green

Greg:  Davion Mitchell

 

Who Will Win 2021-2022 NBA Most Improved Player?

Royal:  Michael Porter Jr.

Mateo:  Gary Trent Jr.

Bryan:  OG Anunoby

Toine:  OG

Michael:  Victor Oladipo

Kendale:  Porter Jr.

Marco:  OG

Ricky:  OG

Tony: OG

Sean:  Jordan Poole

Brady:  Christian Wood

Adam:  Dejounte Murray

Gad:  OG

Greg:  Poole

 

Who Will Win 2021-2022 NBA Sixth Man of the Year?
Royal:  Jordan Clarkson

Mateo:  Marcus Smart

Bryan:  Tyler Herro

Toine:  Herro

Michael:  Clarkson

Kendale:  Michael Porter Jr.

Marco:  Herro

Ricky:  Herro

Tony:  Herro

Sean:  Herro

Brady:  Herro

Adam:  Derrick Rose

Gad:  Herro

Greg:  Herro

 

Who Will Win 2021-2022 NBA Defensive Player of the Year?

Royal:  Bam Adebayo

Mateo:  Bam

Bryan:  Bam

Toine:  Anthony Davis

Michael:  Bam

Kendale:  Bam

Marco:  Bam

Ricky:  Bam

Tony:  Giannis

Sean:  Bam

Brady:  Rudy Gobert

Adam:  Bam

Gad:  Davis

Greg:  Bam

 

Who Will Win 2021-2022 NBA Coach of the Year?
Royal:  Erik Spoelstra

Mateo:  Frank Vogel

Bryan:  Vogel

Toine:  Steve Nash

Michael:  Spoelstra

Kendale:  Ime Udoka

Marco:  Michael Malone

Ricky:  Spoelstra

Tony:  Spoelstra

Sean:  Spoelstra

Brady:  Monty Williams

Adam:  Michael Malone

Gad:  Malone

Greg:  Spoelstra

 

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Who Will Be the Best Player Traded This Season?

Royal:  CJ McCollum

Mateo:  Ben Simmons

Bryan:  Simmons

Toine:  Domantas Sabonis

Michael:  McCollum

Kendale:  Brandon Ingram

Marco:  Kristaps Porzingis

Ricky:  Kyrie Irving

Tony:  Simmons

Sean:  Myles Turner

Brady:  Simmons

Adam:  Simmons

Gad:  Simmons

Greg:  Bradley Beal

 

Who Will Be The 1st NBA Head Coach Fired?

Royal:  Vogel

Mateo:  Chris Finch

Bryan:  Luke Walton

Toine:  Walton

Michael:  Scott Brooks

Kendale:  Walton

Marco:  Walton

Ricky:  Popovich (retire)

Tony:  Dwayne Casey

Sean:  Walton

Brady:  Walton

Adam:  Walton

Gad:  Walton

Greg:  Wes Unseld Jr.

 

Will Kyrie Irving Play For The Nets This Season?

Royal:  No

Mateo:  Yes

Bryan:  Yes

Toine:  Yes

Michael:  Yes

Kendale:  Yes

Marco:  Yes

Ricky:  No

Tony:  Yes

Sean:  Yes

Brady:  No

Adam:  Yes

Gad:  Yes

Greg:  Yes

 

Will Ben Simmons Play For The Sixers This Season?

Royal:  Yes

Mateo:  Yes

Bryan:  Yes

Toine:  Yes

Michael:  Yes

Kendale:  Yes

Marco:  No

Ricky:  Yes

Tony:  Yes

Sean:  No

Brady:  Yes

Adam:  Yes

Gad:  Yes

Greg:  No

Five Preseason Notes to Take Into Miami Heat’s Regular Season

We’ve reached the end of the Miami Heat preseason and South Florida sports fans couldn’t be happier. Miami has now played an entire regular season, postseason, and almost a whole preseason before the one-year anniversary of their Finals defeat. While preseason records are not indicative of what’s to come; there are some things you can take from these games. General playing style, rotations, and placement of roles are a few that tend to bleed into the regular season. I’ll be taking a look at a few of these examples and others that especially caught my eye throughout most of the games. Some of these will definitely excite Heat fans, but there are a couple of worrisome spots as well.

 

1: Tyler Herro’s Added Strength Helping His Jumper

 

One of the big stories coming into Miami Heat Media Day was the newly chiseled Tyler Herro. The former Kentucky Guard is out to prove a point this season. While you see many stories of guys gaining muscle during the offseason, nothing much comes from it once the games get started. “Muscle Watch” only goes as far as the player implements it into their actual play. For Herro, he’s already shown how beneficial the new weight has been for his play. One thing that caught my attention was how his lower body strength has improved an already pretty jump shot. You can see how much easier it is for Tyler to shoot coming off of screens now.

Last season (black jersey, mirrored above) he needed to dip lower in order to get more power. Now (white jersey) you can see how much easier it is for him to immediately go into the pull-up; no longer needing to exert as much strength.

The newly added lower body and core strength also help Herro get a higher apex on his jump shot. One of the shortcomings many had for Tyler out of college was his wingspan. It has been said that he can negate that with the height he possesses.

Now with the added height, he’s added it will be even easier for him to shoot over defenders. He’s making the game easier for himself and has led to great results so far. Hopefully, it continues into the regular season.

 

2: Selective Pace

 

During the opening of Media Day, Coach Spoelstra talked about the pace that Kyle Lowry would bring to Miami. Heat fans and media employees scoffed at the idea due to how slow the Heat have played since 2014. However, pace doesn’t always mean playing like the 2007 Golden State Warriors. Pace can also mean getting into sets quicker, attacking in semi-transition, or constant movement at a consistent rate.

Kyle Lowry has already shown how much he’s going to help in all of these phases. The various ways he can attack in transition and semi-transition are akin to what I remember Dwyane Wade and LeBron James did. Lowry is not the athlete that those two were, but the way he manipulates space and reads defenders is very similar. He has shown his mastery at reading the exact moment defenses start to relax in transition and exploiting it for easy baskets.

Lowry knows some of the players, including himself, on the team won’t be able to run throughout a regular season. That’s why he’s been selective in the opportunities so far. Veterans play to the team’s strengths and fans shouldn’t worry about running out of gas late in the season. It’s a nice change of pace to have a team getting into sets faster instead of waiting until 15 seconds on the shot clock.

 

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3: Backup Point Guard – Tyler Herro or Gabe Vincent?

 

Once again going back to Media Day, Gabe Vincent talked about the expectation of having more ball-handling duties. After the preseason it still feels like those backup point guard duties might be leaning the way of  Tyler Herro. While Gabe Vincent has shown he can be semi-capable in this role, Herro has shown so much improvement with his on-ball reps that it’s hard to argue with him not having the ball in his hands more.

Miami may have had a plan to give Gabe more responsibility, it looks like Herro’s newfound ways of attacking pick-and-rolls might have won him the defacto backup PG role. I imagine Lowry or Butler will be on the floor 98 percent of the time and the need for a definitive backup won’t be much of an issue. Hopefully, Vincent can focus on getting his jumper going to help the assist numbers of Herro early on.

 

4: The Markieff Morris Question

 

Erik Spoelstra and the Miami Heat have had a great track record of helping journeymen stretch 4s find their footing in the league. Players like Luke Babbitt, Okaro White, James Johnson, and Jae Crowder have had great success within the Heat system. However, Markieff Morris seems to be struggling to find what type of role he’ll be in early on. It is early but the returns are not strong so far.

Morris appears to be a player who’s best suited as a small-ball 5 on a team that already has a solid backup 5 in Dewayne Dedmon. It doesn’t hurt to have lineup versatility, but Morris isn’t good enough as a small 5 to warrant much hoopla. Markieff’s role will hopefully be figured out, or it seems much more likely Miami will be looking to add a different 4. Someone in the vein of Thaddeus Young to help during the buyout market or trade deadline most likely.

 

5: Bam Adebayo’s Score-First Mentality

 

We all heard the comments that Bam Adebayo made that he’ll look to be a shooter this season. The early returns after a full preseason lineup with those remarks. Adebayo averaged 18.7 FGA 7.4 FTA per 36 minutes in the dress rehearsals. Compare that to his 20-21 averages of 12.5 FGA and 5.5 FTA, it’s quite an uptick. Not only are his eyes focused on the rim at all times, but his teammates are constantly looking for him. Kyle Lowry has especially been a big part of Adebayo’s uptick in shots. It’s astonishing watching Lowry look for his big man on quick seals and transition opportunities. He’s using the athletic weapon on the Heat roster to his fullest powers.

Lowry is finally unleashing the big advantages that have been there for years for Miami. I expect Lowry to help Adebayo in the same way Chris Paul did DeAndre Ayton this past season. There will be some warts to deal with as well. Bam has had trouble finishing off self-created opportunities in the preseason. He has also health with his share of turnovers when his initial move is cut off. These sorts of issues should get ironed out with more reps and it will be fun when they do. It will be his first season truly being utilized in this role, so you can’t blame him for needing constant reps. He’s in for a big year and the Heat will go as far as he takes them.

 

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Mateo’s Hoop Diary: Zion Williamson, Thicker Than Most

A basketball looks more aerodynamic than Zion Williamson.  Since his days at Duke, he’s punished the scales whenever stepping on them as his 6’7 frame carries 284 pounds of “reported” diesel.   

 

One of the dilemmas with New Orleans’ star forward pushing maximum density is he is not a 7-footer, despite being an athletic marvel.  Even if he was a pivot, weighing so much is not necessary.  It doesn’t take a medical professional to point out the extra armor he is carrying on to the court is probably slowing him down and causing unnecessary stress on his lower body. 

 

With respect to Williamson, he may have developed the extra mass while rehabilitating from injuries, which has resulted in him playing 85 games in two seasons.  Yet, there were questions about his durability when he entered the league.  His participation in Summer League didn’t last 10 minutes before bruising his left knee.  He also tore his right meniscus in his rookie preseason, which caused a postponement for his real debut until January of 2020.

 

On draft night 2019, Williamson was listed at 285 pounds.  It was an alarming number then, but he managed to get away with it as his arms still looked massive and defined.  At media day on *Sept. 27,* #1 posed for a photo, spinning a ball on his fingertips, but the image captured is knight-and-day when it’s observed next to the same picture taken two years ago. 

 

Williamson’s face looks puffier, and his arms aren’t as chiseled, but somehow he is still listed at the same weight of his rookie season. He’s rehabbing again, but this time for a surgery he had on his right foot during the summer, which will cause him to miss the start of the team’s campaign.  There is no timetable for a return, per ESPN.  

 

I don’t claim to be a doctor, but with an ailment to his extremities limiting him, maybe Williamson should work on abdominal exercises to slim down his waist.  One would think less weight up top means fewer issues downstairs. 

 

In 2021, Williamson earned All-Star honors.  Of the 27 players who received the title, Williamson was the heaviest, and he is the height of a guard and small forward.   

 

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For Williamson and the Pelicans, the upcoming campaign has enormous expectations.  In his first two seasons, New Orleans had a realistic chance of making the playoffs, despite the extensive time their star forward missed or with the addition of the league mulligan known as the play-in-tournament. 

 

 In both tries, Nola failed to reach the postseason, and the coaches’ heads rolled after each of those years.  The Pelicans needed a fresh start after Alvin Gentry.  David Griffin miscalculated when he hired Stan Van Gundy as his replacement.  First-year head coach Willie Green now holds command, and the anvil placed on his shoulders this year is massive.  

 

With Williamson eligible for a contract extension at season’s end, it’s imperative for the Pelicans to grab a playoff spot without competing in the play-in-tournament.  New Orleans’ worst-case scenario would be if Williamson refuses a new deal and shows a willingness to enter restricted free agency in summer 2023. A hot start and continued success might be the only way the Pelicans can avoid such a fate, but the odds are stacked against them as long as Williamson isn’t available.   

Mateo’s Hoop Diary: Living on Irving Island

It won’t be a surprise if Kyrie Irving‘s attitude costs the Nets their best chance at a championship. To date, Nash has defended Irving in front of the press, but the former two-time MVP’s patience is tested every day while he supports the star guard’s decision to avoid the COVID-19 vaccine.

 

Whenever Brooklyn’s coach addresses media inquiries about Irving’s status, his body language screams he would rather be anywhere else than answering questions about a man who does not respect his instructor. 

 

Teammates have not thrown him under the bus either despite Irving’s unacceptable actions.  But GM Sean Marks drew a line in the sand with his statement Tuesday that Irving will not practice or play until he can be a full-time participant, per the Athletic. 

 

Management’s ultimatum puts the ball in Irving’s hands to do the right thing.  Still, his reluctance to do what everyone else on the team has done is a distraction and an indication that Irving is a walking contradiction.  

 

Brooklyn’s lead guard is known for acts of generosity.  He has given six-figure donations to food banks and personal protective gear to the Standing Rock Sioux tribe during the pandemic, where he is an honorary member, and for his support of women’s professional basketball.  These initiatives paint the picture of a man who is not afraid to show empathy, but his anti-vaccination stance and the ramifications that come with it counter his good deeds.  

 

The pandemic has claimed the lives of 4.5 million people worldwide, but Irving thinks taking the shot or even revealing he has is a personal matter.  He even whined that his privacy should be respected.  It would be nice if Irving could explain to everyone why all those dead people are a partisan issue beneath him.  Unfortunately, it will probably never happen because when Irving is tested on anything, he goes off on a pseudo-intellectual rant that’s almost incomprehensible. 

 

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He’s the same guy who thought it was hilarious because the fans and media were curious why he said the earth was flat four years ago.  He did not understand that as a public figure, unfortunately, people will listen to what he has to say just because he dribbles a basketball.  Worse yet, some will think that a man who went to school on an athletic scholarship for a semester before going pro is a revolutionary thinker.   

 

Thus far, the mercurial guard has missed the first three preseason games.  The first in Los Angeles was a coaching decision. The second exhibition was in Brooklyn against Milwaukee, where he couldn’t play because of New York City ordinance. The third was in Philadelphia and he was not with the team.  These games are relatively meaningless and count only for making sure the players aren’t fat and that teammates develop timing and chemistry.  

 

The regular season is approaching on Oct. 19, and there is no sign that he will vaccinate.  If that’s the game #11 wants to play, the Nets should fine him for every game he misses.  Executive Director of the Players Association Michele Roberts told the New York Daily News the Players Union did not agree to dock pay for missed games for an athlete who is not vaccinated, but that it is the position of the league that it can.  

 

The Nets should fine him anyway.  If the Players Union has an issue with that, then both parties should settle it in court.  If it gets there, Brooklyn’s conscience should be clear.  Irving made it ugly.