Miami Dolphins Tank is Armed and Dangerous

After two games the Miami Dolphins tank is gassed up and running full speed.

Fans of the Miami Dolphins have witnessed unprecedented ineptitude so far this season.

To put the carnage in perspective an easy place to start is the box score.

Now box scores don’t always tell the whole story, but these numbers don’t lie.

After another deflating home loss, this time 43-0 to the hated Patriots, we have seen the worst start to a season in their history.

How bad do you say?


The Miami Dolphins have been outscored 102-10 after two games.

New England’s DEFENSE scored more points today than Miami has all season.

Ryan Fitzpatrick and the starting offense were again an unmitigated disaster, with the Harvard man showing his usual benevolence to the opponent.


That was his second pick-six of the day which finally led to his mercy benching in favor of Josh Rosen.

Down 37-0 Rosen would lead a 10 play drive to try and give the Miami fans at least one moment to savor.

It would end on downs of course.

Rosen stans are ready for the second-year quarterback to try and put out this dumpster fire.

After all, Ryan Fitzpatrick is the third lowest rated quarterback in the National Football League.

But guess who’s last?

Rosen isn’t exactly rallying the troops out there in mop up duty, at this point just keep letting him tag in late to give Fitzpatrick a break.

Say hello to your next Matt Moore.

All Three Phases…

Sony Michel had a workman-like 85 yards on 21 carries Sunday.

Miami has 63 yards rushing this season.

The Dolphins have more turnovers (7) than 3rd down conversions (6).

New England had 381 yards in total offense today. Miami has 384 total yards this season.

You cannot look inside the numbers for a silver lining because it does not exist.


What we are witnessing is a tank of historic proportions.

Even the worst NFL teams of the modern era were light years ahead of the 2019 tank Dolphins.

The 2017 Cleveland Browns (0-16) are the most recent comparison to this experiment.

Statistically they were at the bottom of the league on both sides of the ball.

Take a closer look and there was a lot more to work with in Cleveland.

They were only outscored 45-28 in their first two games and had six games which they lost by less than seven points.

Cleveland also lost four games by just a field goal in that winless season.

There were signs they could come out the other side.

The Browns parlayed that campaign into the top pick of the 2018 NFL Draft, selecting Baker Mayfield.

They would finish last year 7-8-1 and are a sexy playoff pick this year, despite a humbling loss to open the season.

Miami looks nowhere near that competent in defeat.


Their defense has simply been decimated by talent attrition, distraction, and outright atrocious performance.

To be fair they have been hung out to dry by an offense that has been on the field for just 43:23 compared to 76:37 for their opponents.

The defense has literally been on the field for over five quarters in just two games.

With so many more questions than answers on both sides of the ball, where does Brian Flores even start?

It doesn’t get easier next week when the Dolphins face their first road test of the season.,


Fans may be buying into the “process” for now, but the jokes may not be as funny as this tank continues into battle week after week.

Follow us on Twitter @SportsWaveDave and @5ReasonsSports.



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