Tank That! Dolphins Beat Adam Gase’s Jets for 1st Win

MIAMI GARDENS — You could see this coming.

Really, you could.

You didn’t even Adam Gase’s fancy, darting eyes.

The reasoning was simple. On one side you had a team that was clearly improving under its first-year coach, Brian Flores, even though the Dolphins were trading or idling their better players. On the other side, you had Gase, and a Jets team that had already tired of him. So this was somewhat predictable. Ryan Fitzpatrick is a capable NFL quarterback when he has time, and he had time just enough times Sunday, in a 26-18 victory. Gase is a fraud, and his time with the Jets may soon come to an end, after signing a long-term contract this offseason.

Even some players were calling their shot:

It didn’t start well for the Dolphins:

But then Fitzpatrick and Preston Williams started to connect:

And the defense settled in a little, after letting Jets second-year quarterback Sam Darnold get comfortable early…

Fitzpatrick, who has been plagued by inconsistency since training camp, continued to find targets on the outside…

Hey, it’s DeVante Parker….

A Jets touchdown got taken off the board on a coach’s challenge, but they still made it closer by halftime after a couple of Dolphins’ mistakes…

If you were rooting for the Dolphins to win — which wasn’t all of you — then you feared the worst…

The Dolphins, however, had a little juice in the running game, at least when Kallen Ballage (2.0 yards per carry this season) isn’t getting the suspicious calls….

The Jets coach tried to use his wizardry…

Some of the Dolphins’ most criticized players showed up, though. That included a defensive back who has seemingly been torched since preseason…

And then the Jets went full Jets….

So the Dolphins and Jets are now both 1-7.

Flores, who has done increasingly solid work, has his first victory.

Miami won’t join the Detroit Lions and Cleveland Browns as the only winless teams in modern NFL history.

Williams, Parker and Mike Gesicki (95 receiving yards) continued to show promise, as did linebacker Raekwon McMillan.

Fitzpatrick (24 of 36, 295 yards, 3 touchdowns, 0 interceptions) showed he may be worth keeping as a veteran backup next season, to whatever rookie the Dolphins draft.

That’s the good.

The bad?

The rookie may not be the one that fans wanted, not unless the Dolphins lose out, which won’t be easy with the Bengals and Jets still on the schedule.

The dream of Tua Tagliavailoa may be over.

Look for more content on the Dolphins here — and on Three Yards Per Carry.

The Miami Dolphins are starting to lose the right way

This was closer to the perceived plan prior to the season.

Lose, but with dignity.

Fall, but with pride.

Get closer to franchise changing quarterback Tua Tagliovailoa, but stay reasonably close on the scoreboard.

After an abominable start to the 2019-20, Brian Flores and his increasingly well-organized Miami Dolphins have been doing that lately.

They took a 14-0 lead Monday night against the Pittsburgh Steelers, before dropping the game, 27-14. That dropped their record to 0-7,  and marked the third straight game that they didn’t entirely embarrass themselves. In fact, they covered again — the spread at and other sportsbooks was 13.5 or 14 at kickoff.

This game turned on a mistake we would be lamenting for weeks if we really wanted them to win — Nick O’Leary letting a ball bounce off his chest, with the carom corralled by former Dolphin defensive back Minkah Fitzpatrick, the first of Ryan Fitzpatrick’s two interceptions. From there, Miami inexplicably called an all-out blitz on a 3rd-and-20, which caused a short screen to go the distance. The offensive line stopped blocking, and Ryan Fitzpatrick started running for his life. Xavien Howard sat down, a consistent pattern whenever it appears the Dolphins might mess up and win.

And the tank was back on.

The tank that is required to top (or bottom) Cincy, the Jets, and all the other terrible teams this season.

The tank that Hall of Fame quarterback Steve Young isn’t so happy about…

Here are some of the tweets that told the story (there’s actually some good in here!):


The unofficial Miami Dolphins viewing guide

After four weeks of Regular Season NFL Football the Dolphins stand at 0-4 with the worst point differential in the league, losing games by an average of 34 points, not scoring a single point in any 2nd half, so as you can tell it’s been tough.

Miami is very clearly tanking so rooting for them is very hard at this point and probably not the best thing for your mental health. For that reason I present the “Miami Dolphins Viewing Guide” where I’ll show you how to enjoy this waste of a football season and quit your suffering on Sundays.


Step 1: Root against the Steelers and Texans

Due to some trades a few weeks ago, the Dolphins now possess the 1st round pick of the Steelers and Texans. The logic is fairly simple in this one, just watch some other teams and root for them on a week to week basis.

With this step you’ll get to enjoy and root for teams like the Ravens, Chargers, Jaguars, Browns, Rams and many more. For the first time in years you’ll actually root for teams with talent.


Step 2: Watch the Development of young players

While this does mean you would have to watch the Dolphins on Sundays, you should try and ignore the scoreboard. Looking at 2020 and beyond the roster will be very different but some young guys may still be around in this next phase of the franchise, making their development important to the future of the team. The benefit of this step is you get to enjoy players like: Preston Williams, Jerome Baker, Christian Wilkins, Taco Charlton and Davon Godchaux.


Step 3: Watch the Development of Josh Rosen

Ok, I understand this step is very similar to No.2 , but Josh Rosen being a Quarterback should separate him from the bunch. It’s no secret Miami is looking at the 2020 QB class, so that leaves Josh Rosen as the likely backup or out of Miami. Monitoring the development for Rosen should be intriguing for Dolphin fans, because if he manages to show some good signs this year desperate teams may be calling in the future.


Step 4: Watch some Alabama Games

I urge Dolphin Fans to ignore the Nick Saban hate just for one season, and just enjoy the talent of their next QB. Watching Tua Tagovailoa play football is truly a joy as a fan, and picturing him in a Miami uniform (Not wearing #13) is beautiful. It truly helps ease the pain you feel on Sundays. If you aren’t watching him yet, make an appointment every Saturday to do so and root for him to win the Heisman, trust me It’s fun.


Step 5: Embrace the Tank

There’s no 2 ways about it, Miami is tanking. While the morality or ethics of this have been debated to death by fans and national media, there’s no changing the fact that this is Miami’s plan and it isn’t changing. As a Fan I implore you to embrace it and laugh at all the dumb silly memes on the internet and laugh as they score yet another touchdown on our defense.


Tua Tagovailoa

Simon Clancy’s exclusive with Tua Tagovailoa

Everyone wants a piece of Alabama elite quarterback Tua Tagovailoa right now.

Simon Clancy, who is a host of our Three Yards Per Carry while also working in England for Gridiron magazine and other outlets, did something that Alabama opponents haven’t done at all this season:

He corralled the slippery, skilled signalcaller.

Clancy conducted an exclusive interview for Gridiron — and we will run excerpts here when we have them.

But what follows are some highlights he tweeted:


If you want more, make sure to listen to tonight’s new episode of Three Yards Per Carry.

They will be playing clips.

Simon’s co-hosts Alfredo Arteaga and Chris Kouffman will also appear on #305Live tonight (Wednesday) at 10:30pm with me (Ethan J. Skolnick) to discuss what the league could do to punish the Dolphins for so blatantly Tanking for Tua.

And here’s the shirt…

We’ve sold more than 500 of these already, and sent one to Josh Gad.

You know, Olaf! (and a huge Dolphins fan who needs a warm hug).

What are you waiting to get your Tank for Tua Tagovailoa t-shirt?

Get yours now!

Jets coach Adam Gase might out-tank the Dolphins

The Dolphins got only one thing wrong in their diabolical plan for the NFL’s greatest tank: They fired Adam Gase.

While I was the first local media member to suggest they dump the so-called quarterback whisperer — about halfway through the Dolphins’ 2018 season — I clearly didn’t account for what’s happened now. Gase, hired quickly by the rival New York Jets, is now commanding the only offense in the NFL that’s as anemic as the Dolphins’. He’s blaming everyone and everything but himself, as usual.

The media are all over him, and they’re not the softies he encountered down in South Florida, even if they also aren’t especially consistent.

Oh, and the Jets are also 0-3, using former Dolphins’ practice squaders Luke Falk and David Fales at the most critical position in sports.

Which means they could be in the running for the No. 1 overall, which could make Dolphins fans — who don’t particularly like the swarmy swami — feel very conflicted when the teams play twice this season.

The Jets do have a quarterback, Sam Darnold, though he does currently have a communicable disease. And Peyton Manning and Jay Cutler remain retired, for now.

Adam Gase and his brilliance has known no bounds…

There was also this: typical Adam Gase move… 2


Old friend Ray Lucas isn’t sold either.


Still, though you have faith in the Dolphins.

We polled this, and roughly 90 percent of you think Miami will still be worse than Gase’s guys.

Wait until the bubble screen on 4th and 23.






The national anti-Dolphins tank lobby has lost it

If you’ve followed the @5ReasonsSports Twitter account — and if not, why the heck not — you know I haven’t been fully on board the tank.

Well, I like selling #tankovailoa shirts and tanktops (get yours here!) but I’m not sold on every move the Dolphins are making.

They needed a reset, for sure, and somewhat of a teardown. But they made it too obvious with what they did the week before the season, giving their team no chance to reasonably compete, and forgetting the human cost to players and others of stripping down the roster to this degree. I also don’t entirely trust them to rebuild this, even with three gazillion picks and gobs and gobs of cap space.

Now, though?

I’m being turned to the tank side.


Because, as per usual, the national media are jumping all over a South Florida team with ridiculous takes. Jake Mendel did a fine job explaining this phenomenon in this piece for our sister site: Dolphin Maven (SI).

And Josh Houtz explored the idiocy of the Competition Committee considering an investigation of the sort of personnel practices the Dolphins are using.

But it’s more than that.

The national sports media, which haven’t cared about Miami sports since Chris Foerster was snorting coke in his office, are all over this story.

And some have some idiotic opinions.

Here’s just one, the one that pushed me to the tank side, because I don’t want to share a viewpoint with this pundit. Make some space. What’s it Tua-ya?


If you are tired of mediocre Miami Dolphins coverage in the national media, stick with us. We have the best Miami Dolphins content in Five Reasons Sports. Don’t get caught in all the bulls**t out there. And by the way. Visit our shop. You’ll like what we have there.